The Who?

That is all .

Serenity now!

No, you’d get on the city-wide public address system and cause more mass panic by announcing there’s a fire in “X” neighbourhood causing all teachers living in the area to frantically scramble for their keitai’s and call home. No panic rooms in public school.

Burntberry

Consequently, after noticing the hole Mr. Shock promptly exited the train station and headed to the local park. Three indecent exposure charges, 200 hours of community service, and a new coat awaited him.

*No coment on the implication a hole created from a cigarette burn being sufficient for a Japanese man to flash people.

Astairing Into the Sun

Not a perfect cross-body lead, but not bad. Could also be the inability to find decent deodorant in Japan wispy-haired salaryman on the 5:21 train from Kasukabe.

Where’s Ren?

If it wasn’t for the three jobs created by having to pick it up I think the Japanese would be applying some of their technological prowess to sove this problem. When you’re getting Bill Murray-endorsed beverage companies inventing synthetic soil for roof-top, CO2 absorbing gardens maybe there exists some way to mitigate the prominance of butts scattered around the country.

Mame Mia!

Conjuring images of sneaky students looking behind them before letting one go… diffusion is apparently directional in Japan.
That’s a huge blind spot, maybe she needs to pick one of those extra mirrors up for her windshield. We’re on to you.

Grumpy Old Mild Seven

Most likely another retiree looking for a free ride in jail, the convenient trail for the police to follow is evidence enough. Even marked the beginning with an X, how considerate.

Menthol Hand Luke

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away… horses were minature and cacti looked like something that should fall from the roof of a castle in Super Mario Bros. I’m gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your lying, yellow, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of nicotine!

A Challenger Appears

Please welcome a special guest to the class everyone! JTI’s sibling in moral education, Norimono-san from Tokyo Metro!

How they managed to capture the essence of my home life is eerie; but there it is in black, yellow, and white.  Empty Calpis cans at my feet, pouring chips onto my groin after flipping through a recycled hentai manga magazine… that’s some serious Orweillian omniscience. Why would anyone want to share the seat after that experience? Oh yeah… Japan.

The Clash of Civilizations

The Japanese may have a reputation for politeness and deference when it comes to individuals but get them in a group and you’re more likely to forge a coalition of socialists and seperatists to govern a northern state than hear an apology from a Japanese person after blindsiding you walking home from work. Shinjuku Calling.